Hello, my name is Allison Field, and I want to welcome you to my Create Your Blank vlog, where I share stories, tips, and tools about tuning into your energy and having it work for you instead of against you.
So this month’s topic is motherhood in honor of Mother’s Day for May, and I love this topic so much.
Why would it be important to manage our energy? So, moms do a lot — and that is such an understatement! It is so important for moms to sort of become aware of their energy so that they can use their knowledge of their energy to support them in shifting situations, just like that (snap of fingers)— really, literally.
When you can become aware of your own energy and how that’s affecting yourself and those around you, you can then decide how you want to proceed. And that’s why I love sharing the energy levels about anything.
This month is all about motherhood.
I coach around energy leadership, and energy leadership is all about your perspectives and your attitudes – energetically- and about different situations and different things. Those perspectives and attitudes totally affect our motherhood experience, and they’re most of the time derived from our own experience with our own mothers.
Even though it may be unconscious or buried in your subconscious, until you make a conscious choice to do something differently, you’re probably gonna maybe have some of the same patterns. So it’s good to just note when that shows up, you have an opportunity to look and see what might be there for you to shift — if that’s an interest for you.
I’ll dive into the energy levels, and if you have any questions, as always, put them in the comments, and I’m happy to respond to those.
Energy Level 1: Victim Energy in Motherhood
Signs that you’re operating from this level are:
- “I can’t do this.”
- “I’m doing this all wrong.”
- “I’m a terrible mother.”
- “I’m never going to be a better mother.”
- “I’m never going to get control of my kids.”
It’s always the notion that I lose for whatever situation it is. That can feel really hard when you’re experiencing that.
Some common thoughts and feelings at this level are defeat, lethargy, depression — all of those feelings will pop up when you’re experiencing thoughts running through your head of, “I lose, I’m never going to get better at it.”
That can be really self-defeating for us, and that impacts your children and the rest of your family and you, in a big way, and has you not acting or operating from a level that maybe you want to operate from.
So it’s good to notice when that is occurring.
Energy Level 2: Conflict
Level two is all about conflict. As a mom, there’s constant conflict!
You’re trying to get your kids to do stuff — they’re not doing it, you’re yelling at them, you’re angry, you’re frustrated.
Some of the thoughts are:
- “My kids are never gonna do it right.”
- “They’re never gonna listen to me.”
It’s a conflict between you and your children.
What can occur is some vacillation between levels two and one: feeling like a victim, and then feeling like there’s a conflict.
Keep in mind:
- Energy Level 1 is “I lose.”
- Energy Level 2 is “I win.”
You, as a mother, are like, “I win — you kids are not doing what I say, you’re punished, go to your room.” But the energy is: I win.
Energy Level 3: Coping and Responsibility
Level three is taking responsibility for your energy.
It’s realizing, “Things are not going well, I’m having trouble, my kids are having trouble, and I want to take responsibility and do something differently.”
That’s how level three can show up. When you start to take responsibility, you start seeing some avenues for action that you could take.
But keep in mind, level three is all about coping. You’re not really moving it forward; you’re just sort of putting up with it.
“My kids will survive. We’ll be okay. It’ll all work out.”
You’re still feeling a little bit constricted and probably still frustrated, so you might vacillate between levels one, two, and three around how motherhood is presenting itself for you.
Energy Level 4: Caring and Giving
Level four is all about caring and giving love. It’s very much a motherhood energy.
It’s all about:
- Giving to the other person.
- Caring.
- Being compassionate.
It’s all about: They win—not you, but they win, the kids win.
Moms will do this. But keep in mind, a lot of vacillation I find working with my clients is between levels four and one, or four and two.
If you give, give, give to your kids and they’re not doing what you want, you’re gonna drop down into either level one (feeling like a victim: “they’re never going to listen to me”) or level two (conflict: “it’s not going to get better”).
True level four energy is balancing your own self-care with care for your children.
Energy Level 5: Opportunity and Win-Win
Level five is opportunity energy.
It’s all about creating a win-win with your kids.
I did Love and Logic — I taught Love and Logic workshops for years — and one of the keys was always giving your child choices between A and B.
Both options are acceptable to you, but it allows a child to make a decision and builds their confidence. It doesn’t matter which one they choose — it’s a win-win.
Level five is all about:
- What’s the opportunity?
- What’s the possibility?
- How can we both win?
Energy Level 6: Intuitive Parenting
Level six is using your intuitive energy in motherhood.
It’s realizing: Kids are gonna be kids! They’re gonna make mistakes — I don’t even like to use that word — but they’re gonna do things.
In the path of growing, learning, and expanding, they’re going to make some missteps.
It’s all about you as a mom realizing:
- You’re there in the background for support.
- It’s all connected.
- It’s all divine.
You can use your own maternal intuition to guide you if you’re unsure about what’s happening.
Trust yourself. Ask for guidance from GUS — God, Universe, Spirit — or whatever you call it.
Ask: “What’s the next best step for me?”
Energy Level 7: Unconditional Love
Level seven is absolute passion and unconditional love.
There are no blocks, no evaluations. It’s complete, unconditional love — really, God’s love at the highest level.
Modeling that connection with your children can be so helpful.
You can support them in connecting to their own guides or higher selves — however you choose to frame it. It’s not religious; it’s about spiritual connection.
They can always ask for support and then just listen for the answers.
Practical Steps to Raise Your Energy
What is an ELI, and how does it apply to our career journey?
- You don’t have to shift unless you’re ready.
Maybe it feels super hard and you want to make a shift but maybe not ready— that’s okay. - Journal your feelings.
Sometimes feelings get jumbled up. Journaling helps you get it out on paper, see connections, and notice avenues for different choices. - Notice your energy levels.
Now that you know the energy levels, you can recognize where you are and where you want to go. - Take small steps.
Toward recognizing your energy and learning how to shift it.
If you want more information or have questions, you can:
- Respond to this vlog.
- Join our Create Your Magic Facebook community — we post some tips there.
- Or, if you want one-on-one coaching with me, all that information will be in the show notes.
Tune in and stay tuned for the second vlog of this month — it’s going to be all about how do you want to do motherhood?
I’ll talk about the energy interplay between the energy levels and intention setting around what kind of mom you actually want to be.
Hope to see you next time. I hope you have a beautiful day, and thanks so much for watching! 🌟
Permission for Copyrighted Material Use: This vlog contains Allison Field’s interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).
