Hi, my name is Allison Field, and I want to welcome you to my Create Your Blank vlog, where I share topics and stories that are important in creating your own blank in different areas of your life.

So welcome!

The first vlog of this month was all about the energy levels of motherhood. And this vlog is all about energy interplay, those energy levels, and how you actually want to do motherhood?

Motherhood is… all right, so at the beginning, I always create these vlogs from my heart. I have notes, you know, so that I won’t forget anything. If it’s splotchy or interrupted, it’s because I’m generating it from my heart. These are not edited, and they are for you. So if I’m looking at my notes, it’s to make sure I cover everything.

From Reactive to Intentional Motherhood

Motherhood is often, I find, very reactive.

Although I wasn’t a bio-mother, I was a foster mother for a couple of years. I also had a nonprofit organization with teen moms and their children. I feel like we raised, over 16 years, over a thousand children with 800 teen moms. So I have some experience with parenthood and motherhood.

What I have found over the years is: motherhood can be very reactive rather than intentional. You’re reacting to everyday situations. Your children are running here and there, you’re managing a multitude of activity all at the same time. It becomes reactive rather than proactive, rather than intentional.

Most mothers are responding to whatever shows up, and they’re trying to keep up, and up, and up, and it’s exhausting.

Choosing Your Motherhood Experience

It can be an amazing new experience to start to create your BLANK in motherhood. How do you want that to go? How do you want to choose your motherhood experience?

This is not about fixing what’s wrong (and I don’t even like using that word). It’s not about what you’re doing or not doing. This vlog is about giving you support and tools to become more aware of what’s actually going on, so you can lean in and intentionally start creating what you want, versus being at the effect of it.

Now, having said that, you might think, “What the hell is going on? What the F does she know?”

Well, and that would be correct. Because what it is, is about you tuning in to what’s going to work for you, and focusing on some of the things you can do to support yourself in being the kind of mother you want to be, rather than being at the effect of it.

Recognizing Default Patterns

We all fall into a default pattern with motherhood. “Do what I say and not as I do.” Actually, “not as I do”  that would be funny. Your default patterns are often derived from how you were raised.

It’s an opportunity to lean in and say:

• “Okay, I’m aware of these patterns.”
• “I’m aware that these might not be working for me.”
• “This is how I was raised, and I want to do it different.”
• “How can I do it different?”
• “How can I set this up?”
• “What do I do?”

It can feel like that.

Parenting Advice and Energy Levels

Most parenting advice focuses on problems. Problems are conflict. If you listened to my first vlog about the energy levels this month, conflict is level two. If you operate from level two, it’s always looking at the problem, right, wrong, good, bad, and that puts you on the side of:

• “I win as a parent.” 
• “You lose as my kid.”

But the problem never really gets resolved. If you operate that there’s a problem, there will be a problem, you will find a problem, and more problems. That’s all energy. You have the ability to shift it.

Instead of operating from a level two, you can move to a level five:

• Win-win situation.
• “How can I create a win-win?”

If you want your kid to clean their room and they want to go outside and play, you give them two choices, both acceptable to you:

• Clean your room now, or
• Go outside and then come back and clean your room.

Both choices are acceptable. They get to choose. Practice that. It can make a huge difference. Love and Logic taught this, and I taught that workshop for our teen parents for years. It really helped.

Doing Motherhood Intentionally

The key is: Create the kind of mother you want to be.

You could do this as a journal exercise: “I’m going to intentionally decide how I want to be a mother.” I like to think of it as, “How do I want my kids to know me?”

Do I want them to know me as:

• A dictator, operating at level two all the time?
• Someone who creates opportunities for them?
• Someone who models how to solve problems lovingly?

If you share your journey with your kids, that’s so powerful. Kids often think, “Whatever mommy says is gold.” Sometimes not. Sometimes our choices are not that great. We want to make sure we’re intentionally creating our motherhood experience.

Leveling Up Your Parenting Energy

If you’ve been operating at level two, “little dictator mommy”, and it’s scaring your kids, you can shift. 

Move toward level four: more love, more understanding.

Level four is putting love toward the situation without trying to control or fix. Be aware, though, too much level four without balance can backfire if your kids aren’t doing what you want. That’s where your awareness helps. And it’s a practice, not about being perfect.

We’re not intended to be perfect mothers. This is about giving yourself space and grace to create how you want to be, versus reaction, reaction, reaction.

Connect with Your Vision

Before you journal about your motherhood vision, meditate:

• Ask your spirit team, GUS (God, Universe, Spirit), to guide you.
• Quiet your mind.
• Deep breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.
• Connect with your inner wisdom.

Then, when you come out of meditation, immediately write down whatever comes to you, no editing, no judging. That’s how you tune into your spirit and generate your motherhood vision from the inside out.

Setting Motherhood Intentions

Setting intentions changes your daily experience. If your kids are used to yelling and screaming, and you shift your energy, you’ll notice a change. Instead of level two anger, move to level four, “How can I support my child in understanding what I need better?” If you’re stuck in level one, “I’ll never do it right”, shift to level five: looking for possibilities, opportunities to work together.

The Ripple Effect

Your awareness around energy levels will help you choose your next action. And the ripple effect on your child and your family will be amazing.

You’ll notice:

• More ease.
• More love.
• More connection.

There’s no fear of doing it wrong. Your kids are resilient; they are on their own path, just like you are.

Sample Motherhood Intention Statement

“My intention is to be the kind of mother that is supportive and loving, always thinking of new ways of doing things, ways to play together, work together, and solve problems together. I want to be the kind of mom that my kid always comes to in love, even if they’re afraid to ask for support and guidance.”

It doesn’t have to be big. It just needs to come from your heart.

When You Miss the Mark

When you don’t fulfill your intention, it’s just an opportunity to check in:

• “Hey, that wasn’t fulfilling my whole intention. What can I do differently?”

Apologize to your child:

• “I’m so sorry I yelled at you. That wasn’t my intention. I’m working on doing it differently.”

Own it. Model it. That teaches your child they don’t have to be perfect either. It’s part of your learning experience together.

Final Thoughts

This is an invitation for you to intentionally create your motherhood journey. We’re not aiming for perfection, we’re evolving. If you have any questions, put them in the comments. If you need support in a coaching environment, you can reach out to me. Information will be in the show notes.

Thank you so much for watching.

Happy exploring your energy around motherhood can be adventurous and enlightening as you practice this in your world.

Thanks for watching. I hope you have a beautiful day — and Happy Mother’s Day! 🌷

Permission for Copyrighted Material Use: This vlog contains Allison Field’s interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).

Hi, my name is Allison Field. Welcome to my vlog, Create Your BLANK. I help many of my clients in their careers, whether they’re undergoing a career transition or graduating from college with no idea what they want to do. I help and support them in understanding how their energy relates to their particular career.

Let’s explore the seven energy levels of careers and how they might apply to where you might be in your career. Then, I’m going to answer some questions that have come in that may be supportive for you.

So, let’s dive right in.

Energy Level 1: “I Lose”

This is the energy level where the message in our head says, “I lose,” “I’m never going to get the career I want,” or “I’m going to be stuck in this job forever.” It’s pretty much status quo—nothing changes, and we stay stuck.

Energy Level 2: Conflict – “I Win, You Lose”

Here, there’s conflict with our career. We’re not happy with it—maybe similar to energy level 1—but now we’re in the place of making the career or the job wrong. There’s conflict. We don’t like it. We’re thinking, “They’re wrong, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing, and it’s just not working for me.” Whenever there is a conflict, we get stuck in the right/wrong, good/bad space, and we have to resolve that conflict before we can actually move forward.

Energy Level 3: “I’ll Make It Work”

This is where we say, “I’m in this job, and it’s not what I really want to do, but I’m just going to stay put and tolerate it because I need the paycheck. I need to make it work.” For whatever reason, we stay stuck, and that can be really hard. And we can tolerate that for quite a long time. I’ve been in that place—where we just put up with something and cope with it so we can just move through whatever stress we’re feeling to get to the other side.

Energy Level 4: “I Give”

This energy level is all about love, giving, and caring. If we’re in a particular career and supporting ourselves in having the best experience possible, we bring a level of love into it. We might apply that to our jobs or the relationships within our jobs or careers. But there’s compassion for ourselves and understanding.

Energy Level 5: “We Both Win”

This energy level is all about win-win. Our career is going great. Our job is going great. We’re in a good place, and our career “loves” us back. It’s a good match. It’s a win-win for us. The company we’re working for is pleased with our success and how we’re doing our job. It’s a win-win situation, and it feels really good.

Energy Level 6: “Synthesis and Flow”

This is where we accept things as they are, even as we move through them. We may be challenged by it. We may like what’s happening—or not—but we accept where we are and know it’s for our highest and best good. This energy level is a synthesis of all the others. There’s wisdom here. We ebb and flow with whatever it is. It might sound a little bit la la, maybe, but it’s a lot of ease. That’s what makes it powerful.

Energy Level 7: “Unconditional Love and Acceptance”

This is unconditional love and unconditional acceptance of wherever we are. It doesn’t matter that we’re in a job—we’re accepting where we are and enjoying whatever we’re doing. There’s no sense of right or wrong, good or bad, and it’s all good.

These are the seven energy levels, and we can vacillate between them all day long. The energy levels are just perspectives about any situation and in this case, our career. Remember, we are not an energy level, but we are experiencing an energy level. It’s about noticing where we are vs. where we want to be.

Q&A: Career Energy and the ELI Assessment

What is an ELI, and how does it apply to our career journey?

The ELI is the Energy Leadership Index™ Assessment. If you’d like to learn more about it and schedule your ELI, hit the link to schedule a Create Call with me. The ELI applies to our career journey because it provides a chart that shows how we operate with our energy levels on a regular daily basis and how we operate with our energy levels during times of stress.

Your ELI can be very beneficial because it shows you some areas where you might just be putting up with and tolerating something, or you might be stuck in a conflict level. If you look at your assessment results, that can be very supportive.

How can I identify which energy level I’m operating from in my career?

I immediately go to my feelings. Our feelings tell us what’s going on. Cognitive behavior therapists say thoughts come first and then produce our feelings, and our feelings produce how we show up. I tend to start with my feelings, but you may start with your thoughts. Either way, it helps identify the energy level you’re presenting with at any particular time.

Can we operate at different energy levels in different aspects of our careers?

Totally. For instance, you may go into a meeting with 20 other people, and everybody’s bickering and arguing. There’s a big sense of conflict, and the room is full of level two energy. You’ll feel and sense that, and you can choose to reframe things. I provide many different tools for my clients to help them shift their energy or identify where they’re presenting at any particular time.

What keeps us stuck in energy level 1?

The number one thing that keeps people stuck in that mindset is fear—fear of change, fear of doing something different, fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. Fear keeps us stuck and can happen at any point in your career.

How does energy level 2 (“I hate my job”) affect our well-being?

If you hate your job over time, your thoughts and feelings can become overwhelming and stay stuck and blocked. Eventually, that energy will permeate your cells and cause illness. So, you really want to pay attention to what thoughts you are feeding yourself. What energy is your body producing that can be more supportive than level two energy?

Why do so many people settle at energy level 3 comfort, and what’s the cost?

The hidden cost is that we’re just tolerating and putting up with things. Nothing gets better, and things will not move. Staying stuck at level 3 becomes comfortable.

What does a career at energy level 5 actually look like in practice?

Level five in practice is you’re winning. You’re feeling great. There are all sorts of possibilities. There are opportunities for advancement. Your company is happy with you. Things are jiving. Things are flowing. Everything feels really good. So that’s how level five can present itself.

How can we maintain an energy level 6 state of being, even during external challenges?

It is radical acceptance—acceptance that whatever is happening is happening for us, not against us. We can lean into some of those challenging moments and consider what wisdom we can glean from them.

What does unconditional acceptance (energy level 7) mean when applied to challenging work situations?

We let it happen, let it occur. We let people be who they are. We let the challenge be what it is and respond with unconditional acceptance and love. That’s how energy level 7 works.

Shifting Your Career Energy

What key blocks prevent people from moving up the energy levels?

The goal is not really to move up the energy levels. The goal is to notice and become aware of what you’re experiencing. It’s about feeling better, I think. And so the number one thing that keeps people stuck is fear. Fear will grapple with you and keep you stuck in level one or maybe level three, where you’re just tolerating and putting up with something. It could be really challenging to shift.

How long does shifting from one energy level to another typically take?

A nanosecond. The way we shift our energy level is through awareness. And number two is reframing things. One of the most beautiful things I love about energy leadership is that we have the power to shift any level where we’re at. We have seven levels to choose from, and we do that just by reframing what we’re thinking and experiencing, which can help to shift.

What specific practices help elevate our career energy from lower to higher levels?

As I said, mindset shifts are about becoming aware and shifting your mindset about what is happening and how you can look at it differently to benefit yourself. It totally involves perspective so that you can practice that.

How do our intentions affect our energy levels?

Intention sets the tone for your day. If you walk into your workday with the intention that you’re going to have a great day, and you go in and you’re going to focus and complete your work, then you create the energy behind that to have that be a success in your life.

Setting a daily intention is very helpful, especially if you’re stuck at level two, blaming others and making others wrong for whatever you’re experiencing. Setting an intention can put you on the right side of things, help you move forward, and create more magic in your day.

What role does God, Universe, Spirit (GUS) play in career energy transformation?

GUS is what I refer to as God, Universe, and Spirit. It plays a big role in our energy transformation and can play a big role in anything we do, whether it’s our career or job or whatever. All we need to do is ask for support.

How can journaling help us shift our career energy?

Journaling helps uncover thoughts and feelings you may not be fully aware of. It allows you to recognize what’s blocking you so you can release it and move forward. It’s a powerful tool for transformation.

Journaling is a powerful exercise for identifying and exploring our feelings and thoughts that are ruminating and causing us to feel. If you’re like me, it’s sometimes hard to identify your feelings. By journaling, processing from my subconscious, and asking GUS for guidance, journaling can uncover a lot of feelings and things that help me recognize what may be causing me to be stuck and then help me release the energy to move forward.

Final Thoughts

Thank you for watching (or reading) today. If you’d like to schedule your ELI and find out how your energy affects your career, click the link below to schedule a Create Call with me. I’d love to hear from you.

Hope you have a beautiful day. See you next time. ✨

Permission for Copyrighted Material Use: This vlog contains Allison Field’s interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).